Its been a minute

Lets catch up

Guys, its been a whole year since I was last here writing to you guys. Since then, a lot has happened. We are now living back in sunny England, Billie is 5 and attends a mainstream primary school which she is loving, life is still just as hectic- if not a little bit more but generally speaking, life is good. I don’t know exactly what it was that has made me want to come back and start writing to you all again, to be honest I never really wanted to stop, but you know … life! So I will do a quick catch up with you all and hopefully, we keep this up for a while. I mean, its almost like free therapy for me sharing my thoughts online to you guys, especially when I get some lovely and supportive messages reminding me that i’m not alone and its ok to sometimes be overwhelmed and not feel guilty for having those feelings!

So …. lets catch up.

My husband got a promotion not long after we moved back, which in military life, comes with a house move! We decided that we didn’t want too move Billie yet again, especially after she had just settled into the local area and her new school so Alex now works away through the week and comes home for the weekend. The girls have actually handled this really well, I think its me that struggles with it the most. I feel as though he longer he has been away, the harder it is getting. I know a lot of families in the military make the choice of being weekend warriors for several reasons but it has always been something me and Alex have said we would never do. However, this was before we had Billie. We had to weigh up what would be the most challenging for her to adjust to- a new school/ home/ area or her Dad being away more than he is home. Both are choices that we never wanted to have to choose between. I mean, lets be honest, nobody would choose this life, would they? But here we are. Ultimately, we decided that me and the girls stay put and he travel back and forth. Billie has really settled into our new life back in England and we just didn’t think it would be fair to up route her again - not to mention our youngest daughter who has settled into our new home and life like she has always been here. It has come with its challenges. Being a single parent most of the week wasn’t in the plan and as those of you who have a children, especially those with additional needs, know that it can be super hard and it can take a town never mind a village! I spend most days on my own- my husbands parents live nearby but they work full time and my family are all based over 2 hours drive away which can be the biggest challenge. Some days I feel really lonely, not having an adult conversation all day, other days I feel super overwhelmed trying to juggle everything and other days I almost feel resentful towards my husband that he gets a “break” from the sleepless nights, meltdowns (from both children, not just Billie), the school run, bath time, meal times … all things that generally are quite hard in our household. I know that this isn’t what he would have chose either and ultimately, he is doing this for us- working hard to earn a decent wage to give us a life we always wanted. I know he feels bad that he misses things with the children during the week and he feels guilty when he isn’t here to help when times are tough but i am only human and I think its normal for me to feel the way I do at times.

In other news, Billie is now at school, and a mainstream school at that, and I am so happy to say …. she absolutely loves it! Her school is absolutely incredible. They have gone out of their way to support Billie and it shows. She goes into school each day so happy, with the biggest smile on her face and comes out just as joyful. She has made friends with the children in her class who are so accepting of her and include her in everything they do. She has progressed so much- doing things I never thought she would do. Moving here, with the intention of her attending the school she goes to was the best decision we have ever made for Billie. She has a 1:1 who she loves and has an incredible bond with and she has great relationships with her class teachers too. Honestly, after our experience in Cyprus with Billies pre-school, this is something we didn’t even know was possible so we are absolutely delighted with how things have panned out for Billie back in England. Seeing her so happy every day going to school just fills my heart with so much happiness and joy and that is something I will never take for granted. I’m not bashing the school in Cyprus as I truly believe they tried their best without any proper resources they needed to support children with additional needs, however it is even more clear now she is attending a school that is going the extra mile, that they were doing the bare minimum to support Billie as well as other children in a similar situation.

We don’t miss too much about our Cyprus life, except of course, the weather. Its been a big adjustment getting used to big coats and hats again but in reflection, it was definitely the right choice for us all as a family to move back to England. Don’t get me wrong, we have zero regrets about our Cyprus adventure and it was truly amazing to experience that life and something we will never forget and always treasure but life in England is just as good. We have built back relationships with family and friends, moved into our first home that we can actually call ours, got the girls into a fantastic school and nursery and making new memories along the way. Of course, we didn’t predict that Alex would be living elsewhere during the week, but, in life, perfection is rare and we, as a family, would choose our children’s happiness over anything else. Just like everything in life, it isn’t forever. One day, Alex will be posted closer to home and life will resume as normal again- whatever normal is!

So that’s a quick general life update- I’ll be back posting more updates on Billies ASD journey soon as there are always changes and challenges that come with that and I do have some updates on that specific part of our life to share with you all. So until next time ( I promise it wont be in another 12 months) have a great day.

Speak soon, xo