I feel this so hard! I'm a respite worker and apparently that's a very rare thing. Yet, respite work doesn't require any certification, at least not here in the US. And it's fun! I take my client out in the community and do all kinds of activities, which gives his mom a much needed break. We definitely need more respite care here in my community.
My dream is to build a respite center for adults with autism and other developmental disorders. Meanwhile, many families struggle with these same issues simply because there are not enough workers.
My knowledge on respite workers isn’t great due to us never using one but from speaking to others who have, I believe we are in a similar situation in England. Not enough workers in this sector of social care. Just as there isn’t enough knowledge on people who are not neurotypical in general. People automatically presume that people who are neurodivergent are hard work therefore the job of looking after them would be very difficult but it’s not like that. My little girl is a joy and I wouldn’t be without her. I mean, yes- it absolutely is hard work but it is also so rewarding and that’s what I wish people would see.xx
And yet it’s honestly so much fun! I’m lucky I guess, like your daughter, my client is a joy to be around. Maybe I would feel differently if he was aggressive but he’s not. I just have to keep a close eye on him and make his day purposeful and meaningful. I seriously love my job and I just can’t understand why others don’t get involved.
Autism can be intimidating at first but his mom gave me a stack of books three feet high and I had a crash course. Even now, I’m still learning about what works and what doesn’t. And the fact that just because it worked yesterday doesn’t mean it will work today. I also had to learn the difference between capacity and ability. But he gives me so much grace as I’m learning!
Hey, I do fully appreciate the difficulty. I have 2 autistic primary school kids and sometimes the juggle seems impossible. I’m very lucky, my wife and I both have understanding employers and flexible working - and we both work 80% which between us we just about manage to juggle. We had help from someone we trusted one night a week for pick up and other than that, one of us always did pick up and drop off ..
we’ve lost that help now, and are barely managing. But my kids are responding much better to it just being family at either end of the day.. I agree with you any breakfast club etc just adds problems, and we have enough school absence as it is..
So I think it is possible for both SEND parents to work, but can make life more stressful- it certainly does when we go through a school absence phase, although mine being a little older I can do some working from home
but the advantage is adult company and your own purpose are sometimes sanity savers!im not sure i would do well not working..
A lot of schools do part time teaching jobs, so you could possibly do 2 days,
Or you could be an HLTA - they often have more flexibility in working hours which means you could possibly start later and also leave at the end of school promptly..
I can relate to so much of this! We have lots in common: I'm an RAF veteran, now military spouse and SEND parent. Whichever way you look at it, it's a tough set of circumstances. For me, I ended up going self-employed when I first left the RAF because it was the only way I could keep working while juggling solo childcare and all the appointments for my son. Then Covid happened and the employment landscape changed somewhat. There are employers out there who are understanding of parent carers and offer flexible working options, but they are few and far between. I re-joined as FTRS nearly two years ago in a largely WFH role and am hugely lucky to have a supportive team and a fair amount of autonomy. However, it's still a juggle and I do feel hugely limited in terms of career options now as the primary carer. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and challenges. It's comforting to know I'm not alone!
After reading this and knowing your struggle with you wanting to work to help provide for your beautiful family it’s so sad that there isn’t more options to help with childcare etc… unfortunately finding a job to work around school times seems impossible to find. Surely the government needs to reevaluate the options to be able to provide more help with childcare etc… so sad to read when your wanting to work and you can’t due to there being no funding to help especially with a SEN child xx hoping you get some answers off other parents coping with the same problem xxx
It's tough when you can't use after-school clubs, isn't it? I've been self-employed for most of my career and have a couple of students who job share picking up my youngest from school. I'm now home edding my eldest, so I work part-time while the student makes dinner. I also work from a cafe for a couple of hours a week while my eldest is at a nearby forest club.
Sometimes, I have to schedule phone interviews during 'class time' and, while I'm doing that, my eldest watches educational videos on YouTube. It does depend on Billie's needs, though, whether you could do something like that.
I feel this so hard! I'm a respite worker and apparently that's a very rare thing. Yet, respite work doesn't require any certification, at least not here in the US. And it's fun! I take my client out in the community and do all kinds of activities, which gives his mom a much needed break. We definitely need more respite care here in my community.
My dream is to build a respite center for adults with autism and other developmental disorders. Meanwhile, many families struggle with these same issues simply because there are not enough workers.
My knowledge on respite workers isn’t great due to us never using one but from speaking to others who have, I believe we are in a similar situation in England. Not enough workers in this sector of social care. Just as there isn’t enough knowledge on people who are not neurotypical in general. People automatically presume that people who are neurodivergent are hard work therefore the job of looking after them would be very difficult but it’s not like that. My little girl is a joy and I wouldn’t be without her. I mean, yes- it absolutely is hard work but it is also so rewarding and that’s what I wish people would see.xx
And yet it’s honestly so much fun! I’m lucky I guess, like your daughter, my client is a joy to be around. Maybe I would feel differently if he was aggressive but he’s not. I just have to keep a close eye on him and make his day purposeful and meaningful. I seriously love my job and I just can’t understand why others don’t get involved.
Autism can be intimidating at first but his mom gave me a stack of books three feet high and I had a crash course. Even now, I’m still learning about what works and what doesn’t. And the fact that just because it worked yesterday doesn’t mean it will work today. I also had to learn the difference between capacity and ability. But he gives me so much grace as I’m learning!
Hey, I do fully appreciate the difficulty. I have 2 autistic primary school kids and sometimes the juggle seems impossible. I’m very lucky, my wife and I both have understanding employers and flexible working - and we both work 80% which between us we just about manage to juggle. We had help from someone we trusted one night a week for pick up and other than that, one of us always did pick up and drop off ..
we’ve lost that help now, and are barely managing. But my kids are responding much better to it just being family at either end of the day.. I agree with you any breakfast club etc just adds problems, and we have enough school absence as it is..
So I think it is possible for both SEND parents to work, but can make life more stressful- it certainly does when we go through a school absence phase, although mine being a little older I can do some working from home
but the advantage is adult company and your own purpose are sometimes sanity savers!im not sure i would do well not working..
A lot of schools do part time teaching jobs, so you could possibly do 2 days,
Or you could be an HLTA - they often have more flexibility in working hours which means you could possibly start later and also leave at the end of school promptly..
I hope you find a solution, it’s a tough one!
I can relate to so much of this! We have lots in common: I'm an RAF veteran, now military spouse and SEND parent. Whichever way you look at it, it's a tough set of circumstances. For me, I ended up going self-employed when I first left the RAF because it was the only way I could keep working while juggling solo childcare and all the appointments for my son. Then Covid happened and the employment landscape changed somewhat. There are employers out there who are understanding of parent carers and offer flexible working options, but they are few and far between. I re-joined as FTRS nearly two years ago in a largely WFH role and am hugely lucky to have a supportive team and a fair amount of autonomy. However, it's still a juggle and I do feel hugely limited in terms of career options now as the primary carer. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and challenges. It's comforting to know I'm not alone!
After reading this and knowing your struggle with you wanting to work to help provide for your beautiful family it’s so sad that there isn’t more options to help with childcare etc… unfortunately finding a job to work around school times seems impossible to find. Surely the government needs to reevaluate the options to be able to provide more help with childcare etc… so sad to read when your wanting to work and you can’t due to there being no funding to help especially with a SEN child xx hoping you get some answers off other parents coping with the same problem xxx
It's tough when you can't use after-school clubs, isn't it? I've been self-employed for most of my career and have a couple of students who job share picking up my youngest from school. I'm now home edding my eldest, so I work part-time while the student makes dinner. I also work from a cafe for a couple of hours a week while my eldest is at a nearby forest club.
Sometimes, I have to schedule phone interviews during 'class time' and, while I'm doing that, my eldest watches educational videos on YouTube. It does depend on Billie's needs, though, whether you could do something like that.